More messages from other parents..

I love this message. It goes to show the diversity of the parents whose children face this condition. Whatever your religion or cultural background is, we can all relate to how it feels to love a child with physical challenges.

Hi, First when I saw my son coming out with such conditions.. I almost fented.. but couldn't act wild cse did not want shock my wife.. my son is having both hands and legs with three fingers and three toes with close left ear.. I was blaming my wife for watching aliens movies and ET.. but as a muslim, I had to accept that is a allah giving and creature. . Can't complain neither blame anybody.. just was praying for a good and healthy growth and brain.. now he is almost 3 years.. adam can walk can run lile a crazy and can grab things strangely but he can. Talking not yet start. . Im following and doing check up every mow and then.. please send me the FB page address.. mine is chalghoumi@gmail.com.. Waiting for your kind reply.. regards. Allah bless everyone


Thank you so much for sharing your story. I too believe that God (or Allah) is a loving and generous being. I too believe that he has a very divine and special purpose in sending our child to us with these physical challenges. A mother whose child has Down's syndrome once told me that God only sends special children to special people. I know that one of the reasons God (Allah) sends our children this way is to help us grow our faith in him. I cannot look into my son's happy and smiling face without thinking of God's love for him and us. I cannot watch my son do something new like climb stairs or pick something up with his two fingers, and not feel amazed in God's ability to help my child overcome his challenges. It gives me faith in God's plan for my son. God knows what he is doing, even if I don't.

You mentioned in your email that you had feelings of blame when you first discovered your child's condition. I think this has to be a natural and universal feeling for most parents of children with disabilities. In my dark moments, sometimes I blame myself for my son's limb deformities. I ask myself, did I do something wrong when I was pregnant? Did I not take the right vitamins? Did I expose myself to some toxin? Did I eat too much bacon in my first trimester? and so on. But then I think of my pregnancy with my first son. I was young during his pregnancy and I didn't do anything I was suppose to do. I didn't take any prenatal vitamins, I didn't eat right, I didn't exercise, and I rarely followed my doctor's instructions. That baby came out perfectly healthy with no problems. In my pregnancy with Brodie, I did everything right. I took the prenatals, I ate healthy and I followed my Doctor's instruction explicitly. Hell, I even did prenatal yoga. But that baby came out with birth defects.

I think the truth is that we really have only limited control over how our babies come to us. I've seen women strung out on street drugs have perfectly healthy children. I watch a show on TV where women don't even know they're pregnant (they smoke and drink alcohol and never see the doctor) and suddenly give birth to healthy babies on the bathroom floor or in a toilet. Yet two very healthy parents, with perfect genetic and family backgrounds, who take every precaution, still have babies with problems.

Reality is, having a baby is a lot like playing Russian Roulette. You get what you get and there are never any guarantees. This is one of the reasons why I think God has purpose and a plan to giving us our children this way. God chooses what kind of a child you have. So you can take all the prenatal vitamins in the world and eat vegetables until you throw up, it doesn't make that much of a difference because only God has true control over how your baby comes to you. You just have to have a little faith.

After all, we are all born with challenges in our lives. Some challenges are just a little bit more easier for others to see.